Stupid Facebook
by Zinka17
Summary: Prussia is bored one day and decides to make a Facebook account, but he finds out that it isn't as great as he expected.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Hetalia. They belong to Hidekaz Himaruya.**

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Prussia was sitting on his bed, an extremely bored expression on his face. He had asked Spain and France if they wanted to hang out, but they were busy. The Bad Touch Trio was out of the question for the day. So he asked America and Denmark if they wanted to hang out instead, but they were busy as well. No Awesome Trio either. He decided he would have to hang out with his brother for once.

He got up from his bed and opened the bedroom door, then raced to the living room. "Hey Vest!" He yelled. No answer. He looked all throughout the house, but Germany was nowhere to be found. "Vhere could he have gone?" The albino asked himself as he scratched his head. He got out his cellphone and called him. After ringing a few times, the younger German picked up.

"Hello? Vhat is it bruder?" Germany asked, an annoyed tone in his voice.

"Vhere are jou? I vas going to ask if jou vanted to vatch a movie or somezhing vith zhe awesome me!"

"Sorry, but I von't be home for several hours. There vas an unexpected vorld meeting zhis morning und I'm still one zhe first plane home from New York."

"Vhat? Vhy didn't jou tell me earlier? I zhought jou vere here all zhis time!" Prussia complained.

"I'm sorry bruder. I guess I just didn't think about it since jou didn't need to go."

Prussia looked down sadly and lowered his voice. "I understand. I'll see jou tomorrow I guess."

"Bruder, vait-"

But Prussia had already hung up the phone. Sometimes he really missed being a country. He was glad he didn't have to endure all the chaos at the world meetings, but he felt left out when everyone else was gone. Now he realized why France, Spain, America and Denmark had said they were busy. They were at the meeting too.

He sighed as he walked back to his bedroom. He laid his head down on the computer desk and tapped his fingers against the wood. "What could zhe awesome me do today?" He pondered aloud.

Gilbird, who was sitting on top of his head, suddenly chirped excitedly. "No, I'm not going to make a Twitter account!" Prussia snapped. Gilbird did a tiny "Hmph!" and flew away.

Prussia smiled as he got an idea. "But, I _could _make a Facebook account! It's very popular und I've never been on it before. It'll give me somezhing to do."

He didn't waste a second and typed 'facebook' into the search engine. As he was brought to the Facebook homepage, he noticed the button at the bottom of the screen for creating a new account.

He typed in all the information that was needed, including his full name, email, phone number, etc. As for the birthday, he was technically almost 500 years old, but the creators of Facebook obviously didn't have countries in mind when they made the site, so he put his birthday as January 18th, 1993.

After he verified his account through his email, he started building his page by adding photos and personal info. Once he was satisfied with his timeline, he decided to start adding friends. He wasn't sure which countries actually had Facebook pages, as he had never asked them. So he decided to just start typing in names and see which ones he could find.

"I guess I should start vith mein little bruder." He typed in 'Ludwig Beilschmidt' and was shocked at what he saw. There were dozens of results for the name. That wouldn't normally have surprised him too much since he knew a lot of people shared the same name, but all of the profile pictures were of his brother. "Vhy does Vest have so many pages?! Vhat could he possibly do vith all of them?" He shrugged and sent a friend request to the first Ludwig he found.

He then proceeded to start searching for all of the countries. Again, he was shocked when he saw the seemingly endless results for each one. "Vow. Und I zhought _I _had a lot of time on my hands!" He only sent friend requests to the first of each country he found on the list. As he was doing so, he noticed that he had a notification. He clicked on it.

_"Ludwig Beilschmidt accepted your friend request. Write on Ludwig's timeline."_

"Vell that vas quick. I guess he's still using his phone on zhe plane." He decided to send his "brother" a message.

_Gilbert: Hey Vest, vhy do jou have so many accounts?_

_Ludwig: Vhat are jou talking about bruder?_

_Gilbert: I mean vhen I type in jour name, I get like a zillion results!_

_Ludwig: *chuckles* I guess I have a bunch of clones running around._

Prussia didn't know how to respond to that. He just shook his head and typed one last thing.

_Gilbert: Vhatever. I'll see jou vhen jou get home._

He didn't get a response back, however, as Ludwig had just logged out.

As he was about to send more friend requests, he noticed that someone had sent _him _a request. He checked and it was none other than... Ludwig Beilschmidt?

"Huh?"

He accepted the friend request and immediately sent a message.

_Gilbert: Vhy did jou log out of zhe other account just to friend me on zhis one?_

_Ludwig: /lol wut bro?_

Prussia was confused. Why was Germany speaking so weirdly all of a sudden? He never used slang or abbreviations, even in text messages. And what was with the two slashes before the rest of the writing? He decided not to worry about it and just get on with the conversation.

_Gilbert: I vas literally just talking to jou! Vhy did jou log out and come on zhis account?_

_Ludwig: /dude u must have me mixed up with someone else_

_Gilbert: No I don't! I'm talking about jou, mein bruder! Und jou still didn't tell me vhy you have so many different accounts._

_Ludwig: /lol ur drunk arent u?_

Gilbert groaned in frustration and exited out of the conversation. He didn't feel like talking to Ludwig anymore, on either account. Maybe one of the other countries would be able to help him make sense of things.

He sent friend requests to one of each of every single country. Then he decided he would check out some of the timelines of the ones he was already friends with.

"Lets start vith mein bruder." He went to the timeline of the first Ludwig he had talked to. He began scrolling down the page. So far all the statuses were about typical stuff Germany would say, like training with the Axis, potatoes, etc. But then something caught Prussia's eye...

"VHAT ZHE HELL?!" What had caused him to yell in terror you ask? Well, let's just say he found a very inappropriate picture of him and Germany. "Vhy vould he post somezhing like zhis?! Und vhere did he even get zhat picture?! Ve never did anything like zhis!" He was so horrified, his hands were shaking as he moved the mouse. He was afraid to look at the timeline anymore, or anyone's for that matter. But he had to read the comments to see what the other countries' reactions were.

_Elizaveta Héderváry: *nosebleed*_

_Francis Bonnefoy: Ohonhonhon! Mind if I join in next time? *winks*_

_Feliciano Vargas: Ve~ Germany, you-a cheated on me?! *cries*_

"AHHH!" Prussia screamed and pushed himself away from the computer desk with so much force that the swivel chair he was sitting on tipped over and he fell on the carpet, hitting his head on the metal frame of his bed. "Ow," he whined as he rubbed his head.

He was so confused and sickened. He never did that with his brother!

_Did he?_ Had he been so drunk one night that he'd do something so disgusting and wrong? And was his brother really like that? He had known him for years, and sure, he was no saint, but he never thought he would post something like that on a public page! Why hadn't any of his friends told him about this? And why hadn't Italy or Germany mentioned that the two of them were dating?!

Prussia felt worse than ever. He regretted ever creating that stupid Facebook account. He now realized that no one truly cared about him. Since he wasn't a country anymore, they figured they could talk about him behind his back. They figured they could humiliate him by taking inappropriate photos of him and posting them without even telling him.

He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, then laid his head down and cried. He was glad no one was there, because they'd just tease him and post a photo of him in his miserable state.

The tears flowed endlessly down his face as his body shook with sobs. He didn't know who to trust anymore. How could he ever talk to his brother or friends now after seeing what they were really like? The only one he had was Gilbird. And as if on cue, the little yellow canary flew back in through the window and landed on Prussia's shoulder. He looked at his owner in concern and chirped, but Prussia wouldn't look up. Gilbird rubbed his head gently against his cheek and cooed softly. Prussia looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

"At least I have jou Gilbird. Jou're my only real friend."

~7 Hours Later~

Germany took his keys out and unlocked the front door. It was completely dark inside the house, which didn't really surprise him since it was after 11:00pm. He took his briefcase into his room and set it on the floor, then closed the door and got dressed for bed.

Meanwhile, Prussia had woken up suddenly. He hadn't heard Germany come in, so he thought the house was still empty. His throat was dry, so he got out of bed and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

As he was pouring the water into a cup, he heard footsteps behind him. "Bruder? I zhought jou vere asleep."

Prussia turned around in horror and saw his brother standing there. The albino didn't answer him though and walked right by him, heading back into his room.

"Vait! Vhere are jou going?" Germany asked.

"I'm going back to bed!" Prussia yelled as he slammed the door.

Germany frowned and stomped over to his brother's bedroom door. "Look, I know jou've been bored und lonely here all day und I feel bad, but jou don't have to ignore me und zhen snap at me like zhat!" His angry expression soon turned into one of worry when he heard muffled crying coming from behind the door. He opened it slowly and saw his older brother sitting on the bed, crying.

He walked over to him and sat down on the bed next to him. "Hey, I didn't mean to make jou cry. I'm sorry okay?" Germany apologized as he put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

Prussia smacked it away. "Jou're not sorry! If jou vere, jou would've told me about everyzhing on Facebook. Now I see vhy jou never asked me to make an account," Prussia said, his voice full of tears.

"Vhat are jou talking about?" Germany asked. "I don't-"

"Save jour excuses. Vhy don't jou go spend zhe night at your boyfriend's und leave me alone!"

Germany was really perplexed now. "Boyfriend? Vhat in Gott's name are jou talking about?!"

"Don't play stupid vith me! I know all zhe secrets jou und jour friends have been hiding from me all zhis time, und I have nothing more to say to jou! I hate jou!" And then Prussia lost it. He cried and cried, his sobs loud and unceasing. He was embarrassed to be crying in front of Germany, but at this point he really didn't care anymore.

Germany had no idea what to say. He had absolutely no idea why his brother was crying or why he was angry with him, but he knew one thing. He hated to see him so upset, so he wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Please don't cry Gilbert. I don't know vhy jou're so upset, but vhatever I did, I'm sorry."

Prussia wanted to tell him off and push him away, but somehow he couldn't. He still loved his brother, and maybe if he explained exactly why he was upset, Germany would understand.

"Now, vhat's all zhis nonsense jou're talking about?" Germany asked.

Prussia sniffled and wiped his eyes before speaking. "I made a Facebook account today, und I saw zhat picture. A-and it vas even vorse vhen I saw zhe comments everyvone left! Vhy vould jou do somezhing like zhat vithout telling me?"

"Vhat on Earth are jou talking about? I don't even have a Facebook!" Germany said with a confused look on his face.

"But I vas talking to jou earlier, on two different accounts! I vas vondering vhy jou und everyvone else have so many accounts," Prussia stated.

Germany didn't know what to say. He knew for a fact that he didn't have a Facebook. So he figured the only way to understand what his brother was talking about would be to see for himself.

"Show me."

~5 Minutes Later~

Germany's eyes were wide in shock and his mouth hung open. He didn't know who was impersonating him and the other countries, but he knew for a fact that he and his friends would never do stuff like that.

"Bruder, zhis isn't me. I'll prove it to jou." He sent one of the Ludwigs that was online a message, and they immediately responded. "See? How could zhat be me responding vhen I'm right here?" Germany smiled at his brother as he saw his look of realization.

"I-I'm sorry I accused jou! I just- I don't know." Germany hugged his brother one more time, patting his back.

"It's okay. Now how about ve vatch zhat movie jou asked about earlier? Unless jou're too tired."

"No, zhe awesome me isn't too tired!" The two of them laughed and went in the living room to watch a movie.

~Epilogue~

The next day, Prussia decided to give Facebook another try since he knew his friends weren't really the ones behind the accounts. He uploaded several pictures and tagged people in them, then sent a bunch of friend requests. He thought it'd be interesting to talk to other Gilberts.

"Imagine if zhey knew I vas zhe _real _Prussia! I'd love to see zhe look on zheir faces!" But his happiness was short lived as he was suddenly logged out of his account, even though he hadn't clicked the 'Log Out' button. "Vhat zhe hell?"

As it logged him out, it asked him to do a verification check since it detected he was using a fake account.

"Vhat?! But I am zhe real Prussia! Zhese other losers should be zhe ones doing zhis!" He angrily typed in the verification code, but even after he did, it said his account was blocked for 30 days. This meant that, while he could still log in and post statuses, he couldn't send messages, comment, like things, or send friend requests.

He grumbled angrily and threw the mouse across the room. "I hate Facebook!"

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**A/N: I wrote this because I'm getting very tired of Facebook myself. I created an Italy account for roleplaying a couple weeks ago, and it's the most fun I've had in a really long time. But yesterday it got blocked, so I made a Prussia account to use until the 30 days is up. I was able to use it for a little while until it made me verify using my phone number, and since I had already used that number for the Italy account, it wouldn't work. I tried using a bunch of free SMS numbers they have online, but none of them worked. It really pisses me off.**

**So I decided to just deactivate the Italy account, and when I reactivate it Wednesday, hopefully I'll be unblocked. I heard online that it should work, so hopefully it will. 5 days is better than 30.**

**And as much as I love roleplaying with other characters on Facebook, sometimes people annoy me. Like when they post inappropriate pictures and tag me in them. :/ Or when a Germany sends me a message and immediately says something like "I love you" before even asking if I ship GerIta (which I don't). It just gets frustrating sometimes.**

**So since I was bored after not being able to use my accounts, I decided to have Prussia feel my pain. XD This actually turned out to be a lot longer than I had originally intended. And instead of being an all humor story, it has some hurt/comfort too.**


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